Have you seen the reality show Supernanny? I watch it every
chance I get. Supernanny goes into someone's home that is in total
chaos and teaches mom and dad how to parent their children and restore
The usual scenario is that mom is at her wits' end
trying to discipline her small children and gives in to bad behavior in
an effort to have peace. More often than not, dad is so baffled by the
whole situation that he either occupies himself outside the home or
tries to control through harshness. Most of the time, neither parent
wants to invest the time necessary to follow through with what they say
and are looking for an instant fix.
The other side of the coin is the single parent
home where, more often than not, the children raise themselves. I just
heard on TV that 51% of women in America are single.
I once heard a very wise man talking about the
role of a mother. His conviction was that the mother of a child under
age two is strictly a servant, answering every whim of her child. About
age two, the mother's role changes, and she becomes a teacher, teaching
her child HOW TO BRING HIM/HERSELF UNDER CONTROL.
In our society, I'm afraid this is a lesson most
children have not experienced. On top of that, many children are
enjoying the rewards of mom's presence being replaced with guilt
offerings—those fun and entertaining play substitutes that the
marketing experts advertise as “educational.” The result is
often hedonism. The child grows up living for pleasure, with self at
the center of their world. Their hedonistic characteristics may
manifest in variant sex, drugs, alcohol, gangs, or violence. I have
seen the tendencies in kids both in and out of church. What can we
expect when our children hold such a low position of priority in our
A single, young mother once stated to me:
“Living in this world, we do all we can to survive already. I
don't see how we can always follow God when we have to live in this
society. Sometimes I just have to go along.”
My heart goes out to her because I have been
there—a single, working mom with four children. It is not easy
for sure. We have mistakenly led those who have given their hearts to
Jesus to believe that following Jesus means getting busy in church,
like attending church services every time the doors are open, sometimes
three times a week. That is too much for some families. We are told not
to forsake the assembling of ourselves together, but the Bible does not
tell us how often that has to be.
Being a disciple of Jesus Christ is not about what
you do or don't do; it's about building a relationship with our Savior
and Lord. When we give our life over to the control of Jesus as Lord
through the power of the Holy Spirit and put Him first in all things,
He makes everything else go so much more smoothly. We get to know Him
by studying His Word, prayer, and meditation. If you will begin your
day with reading the Bible in the translation you can understand for as
long as you have, whether it's five minutes or an hour, and pray,
dedicating yourself to the Lord and asking Him to guide you and help
you, I believe you will see a tremendous difference in your life.
Martin Luther often said that his life was so busy and hectic that
there was NO WAY he could do everything he had to do without beginning
his day with at least four hours in the Word and prayer. It is not
realistic to think you can start off doing that as a working mother,
and don't think you are a failure if you don't get it right at first.
It's not a legalistic ritual. Jesus came to set the captive free and to
remove the burden of the oppressed. He is not a slave driver; He is the
One Who loves you so much that He gave His life so you could get to
know Him intimately. His Word and His Holy Spirit will change you, and
all of us, so that it is easier to be an overcomer and not go along
with the way of the world—the lust of the eye, the lust of the
flesh, and the pride of life. We need people in our life who are not
putting guilt trips on us but are being an encourager. Whom Christ sets
free is free indeed!
Our Family Values need a major overhaul! Let's
return to the Word of God and let His values become our family values.
NOBODY can replace mom and dad, not daycare, not schoolteachers, not
church leaders. Children need godly parents to emulate as they are
raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). Let's give them our quality time!